And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
