You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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