put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
