I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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