You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize