girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
You took a bar mat shot.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
