Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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