the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
