i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
