her vagine was all disorganized.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize