He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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