so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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