Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
