So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
