THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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