put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Are we still banned from the library?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
