So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
