We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
