it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
