Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
