wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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