wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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