id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
