I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Randomize
