In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
