He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
