my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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