Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Ketchup is God's man juice
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
