David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
