Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
