Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
