Sponge bath it is.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
