she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
it's like iHOP with fire
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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