At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
