Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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