why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
