In the future we'll all be gay
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I can't turn off my feet"
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Randomize