So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
