It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
