doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Randomize
