Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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