just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize