After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
