so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
