Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
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