Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
