I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize