She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize