I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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