Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
