it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
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