she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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