So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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