Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Randomize
