Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
The air was thick with penises
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
