She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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