I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
