hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
