I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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