I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
