No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize
