Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
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