So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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