real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
