dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
