My first STD was from a foam party
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
