dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
