You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
