i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
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